***Special Note:  I wrote the bulk of this post in the late Spring of 2016 and saved it as a draft for later sharing.  It’s eerily similar to present day events. 

Today, reality kind of hit me square in the mouth.

Let’s rewind a few days.

As I went about my normal routine this past week, something…I don’t know what…was out of whack.  I sincerely can’t put my finger on it, but something was wrong.  On Tuesday we had to be out and about running errands, and I must admit I didn’t ‘people’ too well on Tuesday.  It seemed as though every where we went customer service or should I say the lack there of, came screaming at me.  We went into six different places, and walked out of four of them because of the way we were treated.

And now as I look back, the majority of that just might have been me.

The rest of the week wasn’t much better.  It just seemed like I was so ‘out of step’ with my mojo.  I tried.  I really tried.  But it just seemed like I was tirelessly banging my head against the wall.  Call it ‘not enough coffee’ or what, but man I struggled.

I was able to successfully wrap up one of my doctoral classes, and I must tell you that was a relief.  But for the life of me, I just couldn’t get crackin’ on my next one.  Prayerfully, that starts tomorrow.  But, the few days of a micro-break did feel pretty good to the brain.

The majority of the rest of the week was preparing for my message today.  Back in January, I began a message series on the Book of Revelation.  This series has morphed into a monster, that is taking on its own personality.  It’s even consuming the majority of our church folks.  Never in my entire ministry have I seen a group of people so wrapped up in a detailed study of any book, much less Revelation.  It’s truly mind blowing!  But the good thing for me, is that it keeps my on my toes.

So for weeks, I’ve been spending virtually every waking moment dissecting the characters and the events of this magnificent apocalyptic book.  So can I just take a pause right here and make a statement:  ‘Words simply cannot express what God has shown me in this study.’  I’m absolutely captivated each week as chapter by chapter, these futuristic events come to life off the pages of my Bible.  And I am blessed with the opportunity to share all of this with my church family.

As each week progresses, I find myself secretly looking and longing for the events of the Rapture to take place.  I’m beyond ready.  To know what awaits the Bride of Christ at the end of this worldly journey can only be found in the pages of Scripture and can only be understood by having a relationship with Jesus Christ.  And to understand the devastation that awaits on planet Earth after the Rapture occurs just breaks my heart knowing that millions of people are going to be susceptible to extreme evil in the purest sense.

Now, back to real time.

I thought at one point yesterday, that things were returning to normal.  The world seemed like it was back on its axis.  It was a smooth day, spent with quality time with my family.

Then I woke up this morning.

It’s Mom’s Day.  I tried everything in my power to refocus, but the struggles of this past week just jumped out of my closet this morning as I was getting dressed, and they embraced me tighter than ever before.  I’ll admit, some of it was the fact that this year was extra tough for me as far as Mother’s Day goes.  It’s been 29 years since I’ve been able to celebrate with her and wish her ‘Happy Mother’s Day’.  And as the moms in our church lined the front of our sanctuary this morning as we recognized them, there was a huge part of me wishing I could look down the line as somehow, someway be able to see my Mom there too.

And, another reality slap.

Sundays are always a drain on me.  Today was certainly no different.  As the morning came to a close, I had to have been in ‘zombie mode’ because I was mentally, physically and even emotionally wiped out.  And with this ‘battle’ that I’ve been internally fighting with all week just compounded matters.   It was so bad, I caught myself holding back tears as I walked out to the van to leave.

As we’re on the road, Denise looked over and asked me was everything OK.  And in that very moment, it hit me.  Words came rolling off my tongue before I ever realized what I had said.  I simply replied, “I’m just ready to go home.”

In retrospect, my immediate response to her spoke volumes about the future.

My problem was, even though I couldn’t quite see it at the time, was the fact that I couldn’t define ‘home’.

That was a watershed moment in my life.  One that I recall most often.  I’ve been on a journey for home ever since.

“In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you.  I go to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.”  ~ Jesus